Racing the Demon
We run so hard, work so frantically to accomplish…what? What is our goal? What is the end of the race? When will we know we have done enough? Are we really running toward something? Perhaps we should ask ourselves what we are running from. I’ve named my personal demon “the black dog” after the Sherlock Holmes’ devil dog. It made such an impression on me as a young woman…the most … [Read more...]
Jung on Death as the Goal of Life
That amazing psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, understood that aging, instead of being a time of ossification and decline, was in fact a profoundly important stage of psychological and spiritual growth. More amazingly, he argued that death was actually the goal and fulfillment of life. Here is what he said. Let it touch you and then we'll decipher his meaning. "We are so convinced that death is simply … [Read more...]
The Remarkable Real Meaning of “Old”
In The Spirituality of Later Life Series (Vol. 3) published by the Second Journey website (www.SecondJourney.org), I recently ran across a remarkable etymological exploration of the word "old" by Drew Leder, a philosophy professor at Loyola University Maryland. Examining the word, he explained, It derives from the Indo-European base-word "al," meaning "to grow, nourish." From thence comes the … [Read more...]
Nimbus the Cat – A Eulogy
After my son died several years ago, I took in his cat, Nimbus. I hadn’t had a pet for some time and enjoyed the sense of freedom that comes with a lack of responsibility. When I traveled to Oaxaca or Maui or Santa Fe, I would just water the plants, take out the trash, arrange to have the mail held, pack up, lock up and go. After Matthew’s death, Nimbus the Cat was the least of my worries. … [Read more...]
Oath to Myself on the Last Stage of Getting Old
As I reflect on the final stage of aging - when my body begins its more rapid decline toward death - I find myself hoping that I will handle it with grace, love and dignity. I thought, "Perhaps I should make an oath to myself, a promise to do it as well as I possibly can. Then I realized these were really prayers. So here are the prayer/promises that came deep from my heart of hearts. May … [Read more...]
You are An Elder – Be One!
So many of us older folks wish vaguely for a new role in the would, but easily stymied by the culture's loss of interest in our fading voices, and full of self-doubt, we go back to the TV remote or golf course and miss another opportunity. Like Peggy Lee, we ask, "Is this all there is?" and, hearing no reply, look for distraction and wonder when someone else will show us the way. The path we are … [Read more...]
The Courage to Age
You hear it all the time: "Aging is not for sissies." I've even found myself repeating that trite phrase, especially when things get really hard for a while. It's not fun or easy to care for your mother in dementia, to witness her death, to sit through your wife's frightening carotid surgery, to perform your son's funeral, to have your heart shocked in the ER, or await test results for your own … [Read more...]
The Stages of Aging
Gerontologists often describe the stages of aging in categories like the "young old," "middle old," and the "old old" because folks in each category have significantly different issues, experiences, and needs. But there is another way to describe the stages of aging that may - or may not! - surprise you. Aging can also be described with the stages of death and dying made famous by Elizabeth … [Read more...]
Aging and The Life of Pi
One of the most beautiful things about Yann Martel's book Life of Pi is the richness and fluidity of it symbols - a boy, a journey, a hungry tiger, a lifeboat, and the sea. The dynamic movement of these elements constantly changes just as the individual life moves from moment to moment, week to week, year to year, and season to season. The boy Pi symbolizes the both the ego and the spirit of … [Read more...]
Aging from the Inside
As I surf the web on aging, I am amazed by the imbalance between inner- and outer-focused websites. Inner-focused sites address the feelings, meaning and personal struggles of aging. Outer sites address practical issues like financial planning, the diseases of aging, physical and cognitive changes, mental health problems, retirement destinations, nursing homes, anti-aging strategies, beauty … [Read more...]