By Cathy Severson

My mom is 85 and lives in a retirement community. Last year, her next-door neighbor died and within 3 days, the widower (age 92) proposed to my mother. This may not be what you think about as a single mom dating. While mom rebuffed the advances, her children were quite concerned.

Whether you’re the single mom dating after 50 or you’re the child, it can be a difficult situation for the whole family. Regardless of the ages involved, it’s assumed the suitor is a gold-digger, a bum, or just not good enough for mom.

If you’re a single mom, and want to start dating again, how do you prepare your children?

Talk to your children, preferably, before you start dating. Let your adult children know that you’d like to start dating again. Tell them why you want to date (companionship, loneliness, someone to do things with) and ask about their concerns. If they are able to verbalize their specific issues, it will be much easier to address them before there is a special someone.

Let them know you expect to make mistakes and ask for their support and patience. When you start dating, tell your children about your experiences without too much detail. If you start seeing someone past a few dates, introduce him to your children by going to a movie or having a small get together.

If the relationship does start to get more serious, let your children know. Throughout the process, let your children voice their opinions and feelings. It’s important to keep communication open, but don’t let your children control life.

If they don’t care for your partner, listen to their objections. They may have a clearer perspective and provide important information. In the end, if you decide to get into a committed relationship, that decision should be between you and your partner.

Being a single mom dating is never easy. Dating after 50 can be equally challenging even if the children are grown. The key is to have open communication and to take the process slowly.